The World’s Only UNDERrated White Player

That’s right I said it. There is an underrated white player in the NBA.

And his name is Andrei Kirilenko.

AK-47 completely tired out T-Mac tonight and thus shut the Rockets out from any viable chances of beating the Jazz in this series. Deron Williams is the shit, yes, and Carlos Boozer looks much better in HD without the acne, yes, but AK-47 is that guy who will get you deep in the playoffs by shutting down your opponent’s greatest scoring threat, night in and night out.

In fact, his key offensive rebound at the end of the game will of course get no mention, because immediately after making the board, AK passed off to the world’s most OVERrated white player -

-That’s right, you guessed it – Kyle Korver. That pretty boy Ashton Kutcher wannabe can kiss my ass.

What if you were little and a fan of the Sixer’s and your mom got you those valentines day cards to give out to the class? That’d be fucking embarassing. But back to that dude from Rocky…

Besides being in the world’s most awesome training montage, AK-47 gets to bone whoever he wants. Well for at least once a year. That wife of his is pretty cute. And they sure do make a cute couple…

Wow. Shit dude, my bad, this blog got kind of gay, and I don’t mean in the sexual way. I mean in the worst way possible.

While we’re talking about overrated white players, let’s not forget Peja Stojakavich – the former world’s MOST overrated white player. Remember when people actually made Larry Bird comparisons to him that one year Chris Webber went out and he drained some threes? Racism. Pure racism dude. Now it seems that everyone’s come back down to their senses and reminded themselves that he’s just a guy who roams around the arc and pops threes… like every other “great” white role-player.

So until the Hornets win the championship later this year, Peja’s gonna avoid the white media shining their pride on him. But he’ll always have my back, cause even if his wife doesn’t let him fuck other bitches, his wife is fucking SLAMMING.

-Hey man, I’d do her.

FOLLOW UP:

I know he flopped at the end of the game, but at least AK did it one some other white (he’s probably not white but I don’t fucking care I’m a racist) dude. And it won them the game. Remember, Bill Bellichick was a winner, na’mean?

Chris Paul Needs to Start Reminding People About That Time Kobe Bryant Raped a White Girl

Because it’d be ridiculous for him to win the MVP over Chris Paul. For those that keep forgetting, MVP stands for Most Valuable Player, and how is Kobe Bryant more valuable to the LA Lakers than Chris Paul is to the New Orleans Hornets?

Absurd. Abso-fucking-lutely absurd if you’re going to convince me Kobe Bryant does a more award worthy job of making his teammates better than Chris Paul. Lamar Odom has always been a chronic underachiever, if Kobe truly had the abilities worthy of an MVP, Odom would be an all star. With his no so ironic combination of athletic ability and the lack of killer instinct, it takes a true point guard to make a player like that good.
Players “like that” include:

1. Tyson Chandler
2. David West
3. Mo Peterson
4. Ever other bum on that Hornets squad

My point is, Chris Paul makes every average player on that Hornets team that much better than they are. He is that rare talent that rises the level of his teammate’s play by making it easier for them to shine, and he can still put the ball on the floor and score 30 himself.

He had easily the best opening weekend performance of any player starting in the NBA playoffs this year, making Jason Kidd, an elite NBA defender, look like a chump.

But whatever – Chris Paul makes Tyson Chandler look like an And1 baller on the regular.

Kobe can’t make me do anything other than regret that I wasn’t given Lamar Odom’s chance at being one of the best ballplayers ever.

I know he’s the best player in the league, but no one can convince me to not take him over Chris Paul if I were building a team together. Because I’d have to build a team around Kobe Bryant, where with Chris Paul, I could scrape a team together and find myself deep in the playoffs, as in a championship.

Title town’s coming to New Orleans, on the shoulders of the true MVP.

-Hey Man, I’d Do Her

The Best Season In Sports, Ever

I’m sitting around watching the first game of the Spurs / Suns series, witnessing a completely out of character Tim Duncan draining a crazy clutch 3-pointer (…Tim Duncan behind the line???) against the Suns, and I came to accept the thought that’s been lingering on the outside edges of my brain ever since LSU went 5 for 5 on fourth downs against Florida…

This has been the best season in sports I have ever witnessed, ever.

For you geeks looking for something to hate on – I know you’re out there – I’m defining a “sports” season under the following rules:

1. It begins with the opening kickoff of the first NFL preseason (yeah thats right, I’m including the preseason) and ends with the final bucket of the NBA finals.
2. Now, I know what you’re thinking, and it’s not that I don’t like Baseball. I watch the fuck out of it because there’s nothing else to watch in the summer. But I just can’t consider it a real sport – if a fat-ass like David Ortiz is an athlete, I’m a world class sprinter. I really just see it as something you’d play pre, maybe post barbeque. Everyone has a fun time without really breaking a sweat or upsetting a stomach, or doing anything very intensive with a body at all. It’s kind of like watching a more involved version of Badminton. That said, I still do watch Baseball whenever it’s on TV, have a fantasy team, and think that A-Rod’s a piece of shit.
3. International Sports don’t count. AMERICUHH, fuck yeah.

To reiterate, Baseball’s not a real sport. So let’s go over the arguments available for the best year in sports, the 2007-2008 season, ever:

NCAA Football had by far it’s most compelling season ever. No team was ever insusceptible to the upset, and the two teams chosen to play the (now perennially useless) National Championship game was never certain until the very last week of regular season play. Upset after upset after crazy upset – starting with Michigan losing to Appalachian, and ending with West Virginia, on the berth of being the top ranked team at the end of a long season, losing to Pitt. Of course, such an uncertain regular season leading into a boring, predictable (save for the Michigan / Florida bowl game) bowl season BEGGED for a playoffs rather than the financial empires competing, rather than the teams that play the game, in a BCS Bowl “series.”

NCAA Basketball had one of it’s most compelling freshmen classes ever in the wake of the now years old rule holding high schoolers back from entering the pros immediately. There was more talent coming into the tournament than in recent memory, which was well on display with a final four containing all four #1 seeds playing against each other. And what a final game – exciting as it was, we really learned that John Calipari is not the great coach that powered Memphis to a one lost season, and we learned that Derek Rose is the kid who took a good team and made them great.

NFL Football had in my opinion, it’s best season ever. Yeah, ok, I’m a Giants fan. But what made the season so great (I love and hate saying this all at the same time) was the New England Patriot’s perfect regular season. They, in my opinion, were the best team to ever play football for a year in the NFL. The way they lit up their opponents in the first and for portions of the second half of the season was amazing to watch. And then, their last opponent in the regular season FINALLY had their QB come together, and as a team, they proved that anyone can be beaten. From the Patriot’s perfection rose Eli Manning’s poise and the unthinkable truly happened. That cold $300 I won on the game wasn’t so bad either.

NHL Hockey was fun even for me, a casual hockey fan at best. I’m buying what the NHL is selling – and that’s the fact that Sidney Crosby and Alexander Ovechkin are two of the greatest athlete’s I’m gonna see all year. All I can say is hockey has definitely bounced back from it’s recent obscurity. Considering it competes with the NFL and NBA consistently, this is impressive to me. Imagine if they didn’t play baseball when no other sports were going on… where would that fan base’s true alliances lie?

NBA Basketball had the best playoff race ever in the west coast. The math says it all – the top 6 teams in the west within 2 games of each other – all SIX of them. And on the opening day of the playoffs, we see a 2-OT thriller between the now re-occurring second round match up of powerhouses Phoenix Suns and San Antonio Spurs – in the very first round. In the east coast, we have the emergence of a man – Lebron James – and the possible daybreak of an old Boston Dynasty re-born. This normally would piss me off, but any Boston team that only has one white player on it is OK by me.

Now, I’m gonna sit back and soak in the best Playoffs I’m ever going to see – and I’d suggest you do the same. The season’s almost over here.

If you don’t share my opinions, I’m sure I won’t have to do any convincing of this,

- Hey man, I’d do her.